Originally Posted by
bluejupiter 
The thing is - I have to give him credit for wanting to be part of this. taking care of me and the baby is very important to him - he wants to provide and he wants me to let him do what he can... but we don't see eye to eye...
From what you said earlier, what you get with this man is controlling behaviours, the manipulative threats, the silent treatments. My experience with men who want to control women tells me that it only gets worse the closer the involvement. Do you want to be in a relationship with a man who is likely to want to cut you off from your friends and family? Do you want to be involved with a man who will teach your child that controlling a partner/wife/other adult is the right sort of relationship dynamic? Do you wnat to have the manipulations increase until you start doubting yourself and your thoughts?
Originally Posted by
bluejupiter I've taken very good care of myself for a long time and I trust my instincts - they've never steered me wrong. He has spent the majority of his life making very very poor decisions.... and now hes accusing me of that.
Trust your instincts! Do not allow yourself to be convinced that you are not who you are or that you need to change to fit his desire for what you should be. A true relationship is based on both people being who the genuinely are and accepting the other as they genuinely are.