Thankyou all for your kind words. I do need to just work on myself for a while and take a break from any relationships. I love SR it helps me to realize that I'm not alone with my problem and to find a better way with all the positive support. I did have a message board with things I have found on this site. I had taken it down when I got a new fridge. Think it's time for me to put a new one up for myself. I guess I didn't want to deal with my problems for a while. Working a program is hard. I guess I had a relapse. Thank god I realized that before it got to far. I do not want to ever live that way agian. The road you take being addicted to your addict is so painful and hard. Finding peace is what I'm striving for now.