Yep - I dug through the garabage too. . . . I had told my AH that if he continued to drink I would leave. He believed he could "control" it; I gave him another chance. My gut knew he wasn't controlling it. But, I needed proof. I couldn't carry out that final ultimatum without proof. I dug through the garbage, I searched for the hidden stash that I knew had to be there. I found it under a plastic tub in the garage rafters! I laid clear plastic wrap over the cans in the recycling so I could count how many new cans went in every day. When I had my proof I sat him down one last time. I calmy asked him to please tell me how much he was drinking. He said none. I said, if I were to tell you I knew for a fact that is a lie, what would you say? His posture changed, but he used the tone of voice he always used when he was adamant--the one I always believed, ALWAYS. When he was like that he was ALWAYS telling the truth. This time I knew he wasn't. I wondered how many other times he wasn't. I knew it was over, within a week I was gone.
If I didn't have the proof, I would have believed him again. HE was trustworthy, my gut was not. But what I learned is that my gut is trustworthy, I just had to prove it to myself. Am I proud of digging through the garbage, no. But I am not ashamed either. I needed to do it -- I needed to do it for me. Hopefully, I will never have to do it again.