I need help.
I just returned from my monthly visit to the Doctor/Pharmacy and I need help.
In addition to my Duragesic patches (2 100mcg x 48hrs) I also go thru 100 8mg hydromorphones for breakthru pain, 90 Soma, 60 Xanax 1mg and I have a box of Actiq berry flavored lollipops for emergency use.
All of this is not quite lasting a month and it's getting harder and harder to keep from getting sick. I abuse my meds and I know that I am addicted. With the amount of meds I go thru I just don't think I can go cold turkey at home and be over it in a couple of weeks. I have been on the majority of these meds for several years and I know that with benzos cold turkey is not smart.
I want to stop. I want to be where a lot of you folks are - SOBER! I want to go to a meeting but with the amount of meds I am on I would feel like a total hypocrite. It just seems so hopeless sometimes. I have hinted around to my Doctors and they just add a new med or increase one I am already taking...
I want to tell them about my abuse but something stops me each time...
HELP! Where do I go from here?
Patchez