I was also cold and distant...I was the reason we had no sex life...It had NOTHING to do with the fact that I was always on edge and that he was always messed up on some substance. I didnt even know about the crack...so nice of him to tell me after he left...no wait..after I found all his paraphenalia in the basement.
Its always our fault isn't it? Not really but they want us to think so...I felt ugly and stupid and totally unloved and I didn't make a move because I thought it was all my fault and i MUST be doing something wrong...Maybe I was doing things wrong somewhere but it wasn't booze, pot and crack!!!
Now I will spend the rest of my life trying to un-convince myself that I am not a stupid, cold, boring, distant bitch.
I hope you know that it's not all your fault. The ony thing we can do is start from here and go forward. Easier said than done for me but I think I might just like myself sometimes now...sometimes!