Tykwer

My name is Tyk and I am a new member here. Hi!

I've been lurking here for a while reading posts for advice and seeing others' experiences with recovery. I want to thank everyone in advance for their contributions here, whether experiences or advice, it really helped me through some dark times.

My wife (trying to get her to register here too) and I are one week clean from a long time battle with Tramadol addiction. It started for us as a recreational drug that we would take on weekends, maybe one or two doses per day of 100-150mg each.

That was three years ago, and at the time we quit (the last time either of us had Tram was Wednesday, June 4) we were both up to 1000mg per day on weekdays and 1500mg+ per day on weekends. I know we are both lucky to still be here after dosing like that. Even with one of our friends having a seizure and nearly dying (he was taking about the same amount as us, per day) we kept up with our "habit".

This drug ruined us. Mentally, financially, socially, it really did. With these pills, nothing else mattered except getting the next bottle. Forget the rent, forget the bills, forget everything. We always needed to get the next bottle of ultram or risk getting dopesick.

So, we kept up this way for years, ordering bottle after bottle from those damned online pharmacies that could care less if they are contributing to someone's addiction problem or not. Doctors approve every order, yeah right. I'm sure the approving doctor feels completely comfortable selling a 30-day supply of pills to the same customer every 10 days (or sooner if I ordered under my wife's name).

We've wanted to quit for a long, long time. For at least two years we have known that we cannot keep this up. I need to hold down my job, and we need to be able to pay rent, etc. Somehow we always managed to scrounge enough money to keep everything up and running... but just barely. It got to the point where we hated the pills -- taking dozens of them per day just to feel "normal". We wanted to quit, but we couldn't. It seemed that the withdrawals were so incredibly difficult that we could never face them. You know, from time to time a bottle would be a day or two late in delivery so we would get small tastes of withdrawals from time to time. My wife would get violently ill -- shakes, sweating, vomiting, RLS and depression. Same with me except I never really had a problem with the nausea, but the rest of the symptoms hit me hard too.

Well, a funny thing happened to us on Monday, June 2. Someone hacked into our bank account and completely drained it. All. Money. Gone. Absolutely no way to order pills. The problem was resolved with the bank, and I got my money back, but what kind of a strange blessing in disguise was this? At first I was so incredibly mad that someone would do this to us. Now, I realize that whoever did this also forced us to detox from the Trams, and I thank them. Facing 4 - 5 days where I would be unable to order any, we just decided to finally bite the bullet, taper off, and quit.

So on the 2nd, 3rd and 4th of this month, we took it as easy as possible, taking a half a pill here and there, perhaps a whole pill if we felt really bad. My wife went to her doctor and got prescriptions for some anti-nausea medicine and anti-anxiety meds which helped a tiny, tiny bit during some of the harder times.

Come the 5th, 6th and we were in it bad. My wife was so terribly ill that I nearly decided to take her to the hospital several times -- although knowing that our insurance does not cover substance abuse treatment and if it came down to a hospital detox, we would be in financial debt for many years to come.

The absolute worst part for me was the insomnia. My body was dead tired but I could not stay still due to the RLS and anxiety... therefore I just didn't sleep/ After nearly three days straight of no sleep, I was finally able to get some decent rest on Saturday the 7th.

We are both doing very well now. The only complaint we have is that the fatigue is still with us, but I'm sure that will clear up now that we are eating good amounts of solid food and sleeping at least 6 hours at night.

We have our bank situation straightened out, and it is tempting to get more pills. However, every time I think about getting more, I just think about how much better I actually feel without them -- and I think about actually being able to afford to go to the grocery store, put gas in the car, whatever -- without having to borrow or steal the money to do so.

Anyway, just about 1 week sober here, and I wanted to tell my story to someone, since our families are completely in the dark about our problem and I don't really have anyone else to talk to.

Thanks for listening! And if anyone out there has any Ultram questions, fire away.

Tyk