Feeling pathetic, worthless, and dumb.
What a horrible subject title eh? Well I'm feeling like it... Day 14 without booze, Day 13 without Lamictal. I know I'm sounding like a broken record, and I've been trying to do new things as best as I can, for example yesterday and through today I was reading Lord of the Rings The Hobbit book for like 5 hours *not straight, 129 pages I read*, I believe I read it back in 1998... amazing how ten years can pass. Anyway, reading it... reading the author's words, how grand he wrote... what he wrote about, made me feel like crap since I can't do that and feel like I don't understand many things about usual life things... words I don't understand... *remember all please realize I'm a high functioning autistic adult* I think I was in an ignorant bliss when I was younger so I didn't realize all my inadaquecies, but now I understand and realize how bad I really am perhaps? I don't know, I once felt about life that I never wanted it to end because it was so great, and now I have no problem with it actually ending someday with the way I'm feeling... all I'm saying is it's amazing how I feel this way, I feel purely, and truly... cursed.