With all of the stress you have been under no wonder you don't feel well. Also anticipating your mother's judgment has to be stressful.
I am hoping you can just let go of what other people think cause it really doesn't change who you are. From what I can tell you are a very good person dealing with a lot of stuff why take on what others think? If your mom has to put you down just remember she is looking in the mirror when she looks down at others....
There is a book that reminds me of your situation with your mom. Get the title cause it says it all: "What Others Think of Me Is None of My Business" if we realize we see our reflection in others maybe we could all learn to be less critical and more compassionate...