strongerwoman

that when you can least afford (in every sense of the word) to get sick, you do? Ugh, the sick bugs have gotten me. Head cold, sore throat, sinus pressure headaches, and GI upset stuff.

Today I was supposed to be out delivering more resumes, supposed to meet some people about selling the minivan I'm trying to sell, and my mother and brother who live in NY and IN are coming in Friday mid-morning for my daughters high school graduation.
And I'm supposed to be running around like a mad women getting things found, organized and priced for a yard sale on Saturday morning. AND supposed to be planning a little family party/get together thing for Friday evening after my daughters graduation ceremony. (my daughter graduating high school = I'm old - when did THAT happen?)
And here I am sidelined by illness.

ACK. My mother is a super clean freak and well....let's just say....ummm...I'm not. I'd LIKE to be, don't get me wrong, I'd LOVE to be - but this place is so cluttered and disorganized it would take a month of fulltime working on it and probably $500 worth of organizing do-dads to get this place in "mother - worthy" shape.
MY house isn't filthy dirty or anything, but like - I have 4 daughters and so right now there is literally a mountain of clothes in my laundry room, on the floor that need to be sorted through, washed & dried and put away, or thrown away. It has gotten so big, and I am short, so yesterday when I had to do some laundry I literally had to climb up it to get into the basin of the washing machine.
So, ummm....I've let a few things slide in the last couple of weeks.

My bedroom has become a big mess, seems to the the dumping ground around here. Very cluttered right now.
My mother would like the be Martha Stewart I think.
So, I'm very nervous about her (and my brother who I havent seen in two years) coming. She will comment on my "pigsty" of a house.
Whatever. Nothing is ever good enough and she's the most negative person I know. But still, I'm nervous.
I'd like to surprise her by not cleaning at all - just to see her eyes get huge and her jaw drop when she walks in the door, but she had open heart surgery two years ago and a stroke last year so I don't think I should push it in the name of being rebellious.
Besides I dont want my brother thinking I'm really as big as a slob as I really am, he'll go back and tell his perfect wife and my image with them will be shattered. LOL.
My other brother and his wife, well they are slobs so its okay that they know I really am too, but I'd like to keep up appearances as long as I can with my other brother. The preppy one with the really nice house and clothes and car, that one.

No news from the AH. He was supposed to let me know about the rent $ and of course he hasn't yet. Its almost 8pm and since I'm sick I'm going to bed in an hour.
I think the difference (well one of the differences) in how AH and I deal with things is that he is always hyper, cant sit still for long, always has to be doing something. I am the opposite most of the time (unless I have a bunch of $ for shopping, then I'm the energizer bunny -okay, so that's only happened like twice in my life, but it was a hyper time nonetheless, there was no stopping me)
The point being, AH seems to be dealing so well with things because he is SOOOOO busy (he does heating and air installation, sales and service, so this time of year things are crazy busy, 7 days a week) and keeps busy he doesnt have time to think about anything really other than the task at hand.
Me, I obsess and think and think and think and think until I dont think I can think anymore and then I think somemore anyhow. I think until you would think my thinker was broke! But its not. Sometimes I wish it was.
Like sometimes I wish I didn't really ever have any deep thoughts, like those guys in the movie Dumb and Dumber. Sometimes I'd like to be simple like them.
MY mind is like my 11yo ADHD daughters mouth.....it keeps going and going and going.

So, I'm sure this isn't a rocket-scientist-like idea - but I've figured out I have to keep BUSY and productive.
Then I wont have time to think and think and think and obsess and try and find a reason for the things there is no reason for.
And I make myself miserable in doing so. And it seems like my thinker keeps me from being busy and that is a pattern I need to break.

Sheesh...I sure wish my body were as hyper as my mind, that'd be awesome.