Hi,
I'm new to this forum so forgive me if this has been posted many times before. I will try and make this short. My husband of 9 years was not a drug user or drinker when we met and were dating. He actually had chronic fatigue but did tell me he had used "experimented" in college but again no usage during the time we met and the first almost 4 years of marriage.
Then he started feeling better from the CFS, and the pot started. He would use weekly then every couple days- we had a brief move out of state during which he would insist on driving me and our two kids 8+ hours while high. I hate to even type that... he has a very strong personality one of those "edgy" guys who does extreme sports which he can't do now really b/c of young children. He said the pot took the edge off. He would yell and argue with me about me driving instead of him. Refused to let me take the wheel.
Then I found the coke. He said a friend just gave him some... we move back to original state and he's unhappy, doesn't like the job... is using coke and pot. We have a big blow up about a year ago where I told him to leave. He says the same thing: "I can control it. I know when I'm using too much. I have a job, I bring home a big paycheck, I'm responsible why do I (me, the wife) have a problem with his using?" Is this a common argument? He says he needs this to "take the edge off". So anyway, I set the rules. I don't want it in the house. He can't be with the kids alone if he's high. He can't drive us if drinking/high. Amazing I have to convince him not to drive his wife and kids around in this state. He tells me no more coke.
SO, a week ago I found a rock of cocaine in his jacket. Granted, I know the pot is back. He's not good at covering his tracks and I found it. He dropped a razor blade on the bedroom floor I almost stepped on not the mention one of the kids could of. I know he keeps this coke with him- I've been monitoring it's "hiding" since found but he doesn't know I know about it.
I'm going to a nar-anon family support group next Tues. I don't know what to do. He is so normal and the guy I married now that he's got his drugs around him.
Can someone be a recreational user only? Can a person really control coke use and not be addicted and live like a normal person? My husband is manipulative and can argue and convince me I am the one who has the problem- why am I so uptight? Why do I care if he's drug user if he functions? I'm totally confused but know I need some support.
Many thanks for reading this.
