I am almost convinced that I do not even know how to have a normal relationship. At my age there aren't too many guys who are even half decent. It seems that most have X wives and/or children.
When I failed to recognize my worth and the majority of my thoughts were negative and I'd convinced myself that I didn't deserve a healthy relationship, it was a self-fulfilling proficy and all I attracted was unavailable or unhealthy partners.
When I began to recognize my worth and the majority of my thoughts were positive and I'd convinced myself that I deserved a healthy relationship, it, too, was a self-fulfilling proficy.
In short, my thoughts become things, so positive thoughts lead to a positive outcome and negative thoughts lead to a negative outcome. I always have choices. I can wallow in self-defeating thoughts or I can banish them from my life.