trusting your gut vs. being paranoid
If you've read any of my posts then you are familiar with my story so I hope you can help me with this. I am 39 and have only had 2 boyfriends! I was with my second bf for about 1years. Another 2 were spent doing this disgusting "dance."
I am almost convinced that I do not even know how to have a normal relationship. At my age there aren't too many guys who are even half decent. It seems that most have X wives and/or children. I have never wanted children. I just do not have what it takes in that department.
My gut has ALWAYS told me when there was something wrong but as many of you know when you grow up in a dysfunctional home and spend almost half your life with an AB...things get kind of twisted.
I was told I was crazy...I thought I MUST be crazy because there is no way that all of these fears I have could be rational. Well...guess what...they all were. As I found out much too late.
I have severe trust issues and at this point, even if I DID meet a decent guy I wouldn't even know how to act. I would have a hard time believing anything and would always have a knot in my stomach.
Has anyone else ever felt like this?