My ex would stop drinking for short periods of time and demand validation and affection from me. I too told him I didn't love him, asked for a separation etc. and he refused. Even when I filed for divorce he tried to avoid being served and insisted over and over again that I "had no reason" to divorce him and that he would "never" leave. Well he is out of the house now and our divorce will be final next month but he still insists that I am crazy and he has no idea why we are getting divorced. Your AH may not be drinking but he is not in recovery so his behaviour has not changed. Talking to them is like talking to a wall, a waste of time. Even if he did find out about your friendship he probably would not leave anyway, just hold it over your head and have another vehicle by which to abuse you. I am glad to hear that you are going to therapy.