Lilyflower

Congrats! This was important for me to admit to myself. After I did I was able to make decisions based on what was actually happening in my life to make life better for me.

You aren't in this predicament because of anything he has done. He has his own choices to make and has made them, he is living with the consequences now. By the same analogy you had choices along the way too, and now you are having to live with the consequences of them.

For example you say

I stayed too long with my ex out of a sense of obligation to HIM, I also stayed because I was afraid of the unknown, I stayed because we had so many years together, I stayed because I thought it was good for my daughter to have a male figure around, I stayed because I thought I wouldn't make it financially on my own.

It broke my heart over and over too. In the end, I had to realise I had stayed for many reasons, none of which was love for him. I had to begin to make decisions that benefited MY peace of mind and serenity.

The pain you feel day to day can be left behind. You have said quite clearly in your post that you don't want this relationship anymore...

I know its hard to take that leap, but I gaurentee that when you are ready you will feel immediate benefits.

You need to make that decision as hard as it is. It is unfair on him to keep him lingering if your heart is not in it.

I truely hope you find your serenity Daisyjen, and that you find the courage to take the steps I think you know you want to take. Be true to yourself, and happiness is not far away.

Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx