Hi I've gotta agree with the others. I don't think you are a bad person. It sounds as though you are being shown that attention that you crave and have been missing for so long with your RAH.
I also think that it may be good to stop communication with this old friend while you work out what is happening with you and your RAH. Having contact with this person is confusing the whole issue of the recovery between you and your RAH.
I also agree that while you are being wooed by this man over the PC, you are purposely avoiding having that honest talk with yourself. You are comparing your RAH against this man which is unfair, IMO you should be comparing your RAH against himself. There seems to be alot of un dealt with hurt on your side, that needs to be worked on and this could be witholding any emotion that is inside you toward your RAH.
Recovery is a two way process, and if you truely do feel that your feelings have cahnged permamently toward your RAH you end it with him and free both yourself and him.
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx