My boss's marriage recently fell apart, and we were talking about new relationships the other day, and he said that the beginnings of a new relationship are the easy part. Anyone can be on their best behavior, be charming, show you a good time, have fun, and all that. The tough part is what happens down the road of life changes, and someone gets ill, or something happens, a career changes, etc. Then you get to find out what people are made of and what commitment means to them. Dr Phil says couples need to earn their way out of a relationship, meaning they owe it to themselves and each other to turn over every stone, and use every resource to work it out, especially if kids are involved. I guess I feel robbed of that opportunity with my ex, as she tossed me out for another more of her liking. Bless her, change me!
I think our feelings fluctuate in an LTR, and it doesn't mean we aren't in love. And with an AH, we have every reason to seek out support and comfort from others. Have you given up on counseling? Have you brought up his lies in a session together? If you feel he has lied, that would be a very important issue to discuss, and have a professional guide you through it.
Keep posting and let us know how you're doing.