steve11694
I'm sure you realize situations in life are never so black and white as we'd like them to be.
It would be nice to live in a world where every situation in life is easy to resolve, as you'd like it to be.
My first husband would ONLY want to challenge me for custody because it would relieve him of the child support he so resents paying, mostly the child support his wife so resents them paying.
He is a dry drunk with HUGE anger control and emotional issues and the stories I could tell you about how my girls are treated by his wife while they are with them would make you sick to your stomach with anger, the things that he allows to go on.
And yes, there are the matters of orders of protection I've had to take out on him (my ex husband) due to me seriously fearing for my life (he has guns) in the past -to the point to where I had called my family and friends and had written letters stating that if anything happened to me to look to him as a suspect.
He was the abusive one, he was the crazy, raging alcoholic, smashing the house up on a regualr basis. Smahing his head through our walls, choking me on a regular basis. Thats for starters.
My current husband never did *anything* like that, not that I'm defending any of their crazy alcoholic ways, but no - life in the household they have grown up in with my current husband is a vast improvement over the life they would have had growing up with my first husband, or in his household.
There was a reason I was granted full physical and legal custody.
While my children have not had an ideal/perfect life growing up in our household, it has not been a nightmare either. They are all extremely smart and talented kids (all of them straight A students all the way through school so far, all in the gifted and talented programs), very polite & compassionate and friends to everyone, involved in community service, are mentors at school to other kids who are having problems, are respected camp counselors, are in the Honor Societies and in BETA club, are active in marching band, drama, orchestra, and sports - especially soccer, all play more than one instrument and two are artists. They are the types of kids who will stick up for the kid being bullied while everyone else stands by too afraid to step in.
My oldest is graduating this Friday and won a full academic scholarship to a wonderful private university ($34,000/year!!!!), my fifth grader just received the Citizenship Award - chosen from all the students in the fifth grade classes at her elem. school. I constantly get comments on what a great job I've done raising them, they are loved by everyone who knows them.
I've dedicated my life to raising my kids, to protecting them as much as possible, to giving them as much as I can, and while I'm not perfect and neither are they, I think I've done damn good with what I had.
Your post really felt like a judgemental attack on me and at this point I really don't wish to deal with that kind of crap.
You really don't know much about me, my children or the life we've led, certainly not enough to judge me.
Have my children's lives been affected by the alcoholism of their father and stepfather? Yes. Has it crippled and defined them? No. Will they have issues to deal with/work through from their childhoods as adults? Probably, yes - but ya know, who doesn't? If you had escaped a household with any sort of dysfunction while growing up-you are one lucky person!
From now on, positive, encouraging posts would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
When we know better, we do better - I, as well as everyone here, are learning and growing everyday. Doing better everyday.