anyone??
Just wondering if I am alone in this issue....
My AH has been sober for 14 months. Its had its ups and (mostly) downs, I havent been sure I want to continue this marriage since the beginning. He has issues beyond the alcoholism, but doesnt see any of it.
Ok, and I have issues too. And he stays focused on me and my "issue."
For the last year, I have been communicating via email, text and some phone calls to a guy I knew in high school, almost 20 yrs ago. It started innocently enough, but blossomed from there. He lives in another state, so there has never been physical contact.
My AH found out and was terribly hurt and surprised, although most of our 16 yr marriage, he would accuse me of having an affair. I never even looked at men before this, always totally faithful.
He is saying he will try to forgive me and move on, but I am still unsure what I want. He pushes for me to tell him that I am in love with him and think of him often, but I just dont feel it. I mean I love and care for him, just not like he is wanting. He wants more now and I have a hard time saying my true feelings. I am sure this is because of our past issues. He complains that I dont call him during the day, if I walk by him without kissing him, things that I just dont want to do. Today, he started an arguement over something he wanted me to do for him and I didnt want to do it. I finally said - you do it for me and see how it feels and then I will do it for you. "Forget that!!"
I am going to a psychiatrist appt next friday and I cant wait... need direction, guidance. My question is really, am I that horrible of a person to do this, seek emotional comfort elsewhere? Has anyone else been in the same boat and did the same?
And weve gone to counseling. He lies and uses things against me...