It's hard for me because I have a toddler and I feel that I have to provide a safe environment for my child. But, that also doesn't mean that I need to go looking in places where she's not really allowed anyway and try to find things.
I had a bad day yesterday. I went through so much while the baby was sleeping. I was in a frantic state of mind. I found nothing. I even looked in the trash, inside fast food sacks. I have bad days like that sometimes. I'm still working on it.
I do admit that there is a certain peace when I ignore that urge. But, I also am having trouble letting go of the control in a sense because I also think, "if I stop looking, he'll start doing it again because I am no longer vigilant."
Again, I still struggle. I start therapy soon, so maybe I'll have some more insight by then.