MikeB:
If both of you are committed to making your marriage work, and each of you are committed to changing your own separate issues, then chances are things will work out.
And you’re right about the trust issue… that’s something she needs to earn back from you. You are the only one who knows exactly how much trust she’s burned up and if she can earn any of it back.
But you really need to ask yourself the questions I mentioned already. What will happen if you find something? Will you stay with her anyway? Will it be the reason you leave her? “Gut-twisting anxiety” is big stuff. You might want to ask yourself if that kind of anxiety is something you’ll ever be able to quell.