Originally Posted by
Saint Francis 
...But finally I understand what the real issue is: I had been thinking it was about not liking what *HE HAD* become. It's about not liking what **I HAVE** become!
Sounds like you are taking big steps in your recovery!!! Congratulations!!!
This is exactly what the whole shibang is about. Its not about them or their recovery or lack of it or how they treat themselves or us. It is about what we will accept in our life, how we allow others to treat us and as a consequence, how we treat our self.
It was a big moment for me too when I finally realised that I allowed my exabf to do the things to me that I felt so miserable and helpless about. I realised i could take back my power by making healthier choices for me! What do I want in my life? etc. I have begun to ask myself questions like, what kind of behaviour is acceptable to me? What are my boundaries? What are my deal breakers? etc. Things that had never occurred to me in my life!
Most of these things I have learnt by reading and asking for support here. I have had a little therapy, but to be honest, the real way I heal myself is by being completely honest with myself. I've told myself so many un truths just because they were easier to digest than my reality. NO MORE!!! This was the way to my insanity!
Here are two web sites I have found great! Plus I wouls also look up some threads on the stickies section about recovery. ''Hooks that keep you in boundary-less relationships'' completely rocked my world!
Inner Bonding: Relationship Help, Relationship Advice, Spiritual Growth, Parenting Advice, Healthy Living Abundant Spirituality + codependency recovery + inner child healing = Joy2MeU
Enjoy recovery, it is a path to self discovery and YOU are the best thing in the world!
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx