I too am a high bottom functional? (depends on your definition of function...I guess I'm not that functional, since I'm failing my classes - if it were a job I'd be fired) drunk. I guess we have a lot of "yets." I can relate to your post because I too have a hard time justifying quitting since things haven't gotten THAT bad...yet. I think what helps in this situation is to focus not on the drunken side of the situation, but the sober side. Have you managed to stay sober for a few days at a time, and if so, what did you discover? I haven't been able to stay sober for a long period of time yet, but I had 10 days...drank, and now I have 6 days. Those days certain had its ups and downs, but I was also able to make a mental note of little things I appreciated...like not having to wake up nauseous! and being able to pay attention to the details of cool conversations...However, it is important to replace bad experiences with good ones. I tried to quit drinking earlier this year and was unsuccessful because I'd just hide out in my apartment and was basically very miserable, so I eventually drank again. Sometimes it takes a while to adjust to being sober if you are still bargaining, but give it some time and see if you can look for little things that affirm your sober existence.
Basically, I suggest making a list of reasons to stay sober. It helps if you can find reasons that work in the favor of things you love. For instance, I love learning...and I realized that staying sober would support this because I eventually noticed that I couldn't hold onto concepts very well while drinking and reading, even though I may have thought they were brilliant during that split second I came across them on the page. Also, I would spend a lot of time bargaining with myself/obsessing over my psychological dependence on alcohol when it was available as a crutch...mental energy that could've applied elsewhere. I still obsess over the first drink, whereas before my concern was how I could fit drinking into my schedule, now my attention is on the problems behind my drinking, which is uncomfortable too for the time being - but now there is the possibility of working on permanent solutions, not just temporary ones. Earlier this year I was in a two-week intensive mask/puppetry workshop, something that I really should've enjoyed, but I wasn't able to because I think I was growing more aware of my drinking problem at the time, but hadn't actually decided to abstain completely...so a lot of the time I felt really down (in terms of my mood, but also physically) because I was either a "dry drunk" or was still using alcohol as a crutch - if not actively drinking, alcohol was still on my mind. I would often chug a couple of beers to "fix my mood" before going to the workshop (which I had actually auditioned for while inebriated - and now I was expected to do stuff sober!)...of course, the beers couldn't last for four hours, and the next day I'd have to repeat it...it was a frustrating way to live. What if alcohol was out of the equation and I was fully present to the experience?