Kermit
It sounds to me like you're doing the right things. It took me awhile in recovery before I could really understand that someone else's words do NOT define me. An unhappy &abusive person is not exactly in a good frame of mind to tell someone else if she is a good mother or not.
My ex used to define me all the time . He would tell me "you are so xxxx" and I would believe it to be true about myself. He said it, I had made HIM my higher power, so it must be true!
Recovery takes time. Seeing the results of our positive changes takes time.
Take extra good care of yourself. Can you call a recovery friend? Better days are coming.
Hugs
Cats