Thank you so much for your comments... it's wonderful just to have someone to talk to.
My son was just 39... he has been back with us since last Sept., and is still unemployed. He continues to get into trouble with the law because of his drinking and is now again in jail.
I cannot bail him out anymore. He has just about financially depleted my husband and I. There are times when I really think he is going to seek help, but never does.
Because he is indigent and I don't have the financial resources to pay for rehab anymore, I am going to plea to the courts to court order him into an in-house rehab program before he kills himself.
Every time he sets foot out of my front door I am in "fear" of what the day will bring. And even if he stays home, I'm afraid to leave my house in fear of him leaving it too and leaving my home wide open, or worse yet, if he gets to drinking and cooking and forgets what's on the stove.
Because he has no job, this equals to place to live... and as a mother, if I can't get him into some kind of rehab, my heart won't let me throw him out into the streets to die. I feel like "my" life is over because I am in a catch 22.