Hi 24YOP,
Welcome! When I first found this forum it was for my 24 year old son who has a drug addiction. I read read read and took all the similarities of everyone's stories, put them together, and realized that in the end, all of our stories are the same. After crying with that realization, I followed others' paths like a manual, stepping away from my son and his addiction, giving him over to his higher power (for me, God) and learned that keeping MY focus on MYSELF was the right path all the way around. Guilt, fear, all the negative emotions are, to me, a waste of energy and result in absolutely nothing gained. Focus on myself only freed me of the anxiety I felt over my son's continuous problems. He has found a recovery program, so maybe my stepping away did do a little good in that area. Regardless, I am much happier and my life is more peaceful by following the steps that countless others have found to be truth before me. It's so great that you found SR, mom. I have learned so much here and have found support and love through the internet! Keep reading, and try, even if it is only an hour at a time at first, to get ALL your focus off your son and right onto you.