When I first got clean, all I did was stop using. I still thought, in the back of my mind, that I could use "occasionally" in the future. All I did was work and sleep. I was angry that I couldn't use, stressed at all the consequences I was having to deal with, and generally NOT a happy person. I relapsed.
This time, I totally accepted that I can never use again, and it's okay. I'm still struggling with consequences, but am learning how to deal with them and stay clean.
I'm not saying he hasn't accepted that he can't use again, but it does take a while. Knowing you can't use in your head, and accepting it in your gut, takes a while. I literally had to force myself to do something fun, because I felt like I didn't deserve to have fun after all the hurt I had caused to other people.
This is just my experience, but it may be part of what he's going through. I'm sorry that he's isolating, and hope you and your son can find a way to have fun, despite what your hubby does.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy