You are definately not alone here........
When we start working on ourselves and our behaviours it is amazing how much more settled life can be....read read read and you will find lots of great help here on sr.
Make a decision tonight to step away from the chaos...... set some boudaries of what is and isn't acceptable (My husband has set a boundary for himself that he won't drink untill our little ones are in bed.....and that really really helps all of us!) These things take time to implement but keep trying and you will get there....baby steps eh?!
I still have a long way to go on myself but I am getting better and better all the time. I no longer react the way I used to, I no longer let his drinking be my focus of the day!, and I try really really hard not to react to his drinking atall!.....don't always manage it because I am human but I do keep trying and I react less and less and sometimes not atall.
All the best once again Phiz