Hi Niceguy,
I have found it so encouraging to read other's posts and relate to them! I feeling like I am marching into the same boat you are. Just over 30 days and the anxiety attacks are increasing. I find myself at home after work, bored and aggitated. It has been so long since I have come home and done anything other than open a bottle of wine. My husband has really helped. (Poor man... sometimes he just needs to detach ya know!) But if he isn't really in the mood for talking or out of town, I have found it very helpful to go to a meeting. Even if I am tired.
Like others have said, alcohol really is only a symptom. I have found that I have some codependent issues that need to be addressed and I was using the alcohol to escape them. For me it was escaping from not feeling comfortable in my own skin, numbing emotional pain that I didn't want to face, relieving anxiety and much more. I just finished a great book by Pia Melody that I really found exciting and helpful called Facing Codependence.
When I first started AA I was really frustrated with the steps. I felt like I just couldn't get them right. (I have only finished step one as of now.) But in reading this book she talks about people that have codependence problems have a hard time honestly doing 12-step programs, but then goes on to say that before any codependence issues can be addressed one must be sober. And it finally clicked! I am doing right now. Before I was drunk and trying to work on codependency!
Anyways.... I don't know if this is anything you can relate to.... but thanks for your post! Take everyday one day at a time! No future tripping!