Hi DSN,
No worries... you are actually doing exactly what you need to be doing... believe it or not!
First, if you are not finding a supportive sponsor, and instead have on that is judgmental, you do need to question that. Moreover, a sponsor can often be more helpful if they have similarities to you. However, that is not always the case. The point is, a sponsor has to be right for you as it is a "personal" relationship.
My first sponsor had an "iron fist in a velvet glove approach". He actually would sit and read the big book to me... I am a lawyer, really good at reading... he didn't read so good. Needless to say the relationship didn't work b/c part of my personaility is to question things, he didn't react well to that. So, I moved on and found someone else. To his credit, he actually accepted that I needed someone else.
Second, there is, to my knowledge, no prescribed "AA" way to do the program other than to work the steps, attend the meetings and give back when you are able. That's the program. You are doing a lot. Don't be so hard on yourself.
When I started two meetings a week was all I could do. It is still the max for me. The point is that I find other ways to keep it in my life when I am not in a meeting... on line here, reading books, talking with others that are in the same boat, etc.
Go easy on yourself.
Levi