Hi everyone-
I have read some of your posts and thoughts and it is good to read them. I am glad that I have found somewhere that I can log into while I am at work for support and further education about my disease. (That way I don't have to think about drinking while I am at work!)
Seriously though, I am 32 days into the AA program and am bouncing between extreme emotional lows and a couple of emotional highs where I am embracing everything. I really do enjoy the meetings and feel better after going to them, but I find myself avoiding certain people there because they are just so damn perky. It is like the cheerleaders of AA. (I didn't even like cheerleaders in high school!)
I have a sponsor that I have been working with and just finished the first step, but I feel like I am not relating very well to her and just do not feel the motivation to open up to her and really talk. I feel like she is pushing me so hard and judging. I am making as many meetings as I can. I work about 60 hours a week and have a husband. My husband and I do not have the same days off so our only time together is in the evenings. Before AA I was a basket case with my schedule. Now I have added AA and therapy to it too!
She says to me, "I have so much time for AA because I spent all my time drinking before." I told her that is great and I wished that was the same for me, but I actually multi-tasked while I drank and unfortunately I still have all those tasks to do sober! I am attending 5-7 meetings a week, a once a week meeting with her and a once a week meeting with my therapist.
I do not feel like I am trying to do the program "my way" and not the AA way. I just feel like I am doing all I can! I only have so much time in a day! Does anyone have any thoughts on this? I feel like I may need to look for another sponsor and I feel horrible about doing that? But I just don't know if I relate to her.... or if she can relate to me.
Any thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated!
