Originally Posted by
BP44 
Don't ever let anyone tell you that relapse is a part of recovery. It is not, but it does occur. I am a chronic relapser. Once at 1 1/2 years, and then again at 7 years. I had to find out the truth about my disease. And that took getting honest with a sponsor and what is now my home group. It was in this process and being guided through the steps that has led to sobriety that has meaning, depth and purpose in my life today. A question you may want to consider is this.....Do you think you were part of the decision to drink again? It is the truth found in that question that lays the foundation for me working the rest of the program. If you are at a place where you can not drink and you can not not drink, then there is great hope for you. Because that is a place of hopelessness for me. I have a body that can't process alcohol like other people, and a mind that condemns me to drink. If you are honest, your truth in step one will be revealed to you. I'm glad you made it back.
Well put BP. If I could "decide" that I was gonna get drunk or not - I probably wouldn't be sober, I would just decide to not drink. I see people do it all the time, and it's not a problem. I had to surrender to the fact that I am alcoholic - I AM going to drink again and when I start - I am not going to stop.
Step 1.
Sobergirl - why didn't you choose the other option (to not get drunk)? If you know what alcohol does to you once you start. I don't understand why an alcoholic would choose to drink. If you truly had the option drink vs not drink - what was the reasoning behind your decision? Or are you gonna believe that you suffer from some mental weakness?
The reason I ask is this. The question was posed to me after my last drunk - I had to consider the fact that maybe I had no choice in the matter and I am doomed to drink, with a body that has a deadly reaction to taking that drink. It's inevitable. It's not mental weakness - it's an illness, don't buy the lies.
But, there is a solution..
I am glad you came clean - you have a new chance to get free. I know it's not an easy thing to do - but it is ESSENTIAL to recovering from alcoholism.