Arrrggggg! Help ME!
It's just not working for me today. I've done all the things I usually do to make myself feel better; meditation, giving gratitude, reading and responding to others... but today it is not helping me out of my HUGE desire for a drink. I'm overwhelmed with work. I used to drink to get my work done because I thought it loosened me up and made me more creative. The sad thing is, that SEEMS to be true (though I know that it isn't, but...). Since I stopped drinking I can't seem to focus on my work.
My mind is not wrapping around the ideas that usually get me through. I can't come up with the good reasons to stay sober and worse, I CAN come up with reasons to drink!; I'll get work done, I'll be able to tolerate my husband's drinking, I'll be able to endure my teenagers negative attitude, I'll be able to bear my youngest one's whining...
I'm anxious about the long weekend because I won't be able to log on. I can feel the anxiety pressing down on me, the kind that requires a drink to "smooth" everything out. I DON'T want to start over. I WANT to get through this. So I'm asking for a collective appeal to the Higher Power. Please pray for me for today and for the long weekend and please post warm supportive thoughts for me and for anyone else who may need them today.