Teggie

Today has been tough. He went and stayed last night at his "friends" house, the alleged non recipient of the 15 pain pills he prob scarf'd down.

So he comes to the door a dozen times at 6am while I am trying to get kids ready for school. He needs cell phone charger, clothes, etc etc.... Then he heads out back to the shop, fiddles out there awhile leaves awhile, comes back etc. He works making countertops, cabinets etc and makes them out in the shop. He's broke right now but has some checks coming from jobs he's done.

So this afternoon I note his truck is back there but shop is dark so I figure he has plans of just staying crashed back there. I don't like that, it defeats my purpose of "leave".

So I go out there thinking maybye we will talk some. Sure enough he's got a recliner beach chair out there & is napping. I notice he doesn't get near me enough to see his eyes. But I can tell he's still medicated. I should have just said leave but I had to "talk" Should have saved the "talk" for when he runs out of meds which I figure will occur in about 4 days.

I ask what his intentions are? He says he plans to give me part of his income for the mortgage and he'll just live in the shop. I ask him does he know why I asked him to leave, he says he has no clue (yah right) I tell him why (again) & he states I am crazy (again)& have been just looking for a reason to ask him to leave. He says he won't stop taking his pills because of the "pain" Yah know it's all my fault, everything, because he says so.

I say I may be crazy but he's an addict and looks and acts like a duck. I ask him over and over "Why did you take extra meds out of the bottle without telling me?" to which I never got an answer. Never did. Now on looking back, the entire conversation should have never happened. Totally useless and no good for me at all.

I get pissed, (again, conversation should not have happened) tell him to pack his sh*& & leave the premises. He was not to stay in the shop. I went back into the house, a bit later I hear tires squealing & son tells me later he's back at friend's house (which btw is messy and bug infested)

BTW our son is his son and son askes him why he is at friend's and hubby tells him that his mom won't let him stay at home & gets son all upset with me. Takes me awhile to get son, who is 7 calmed down and knowing he can still see his dad.

Then I have a long phone call with my sister who has been down both sides of this road & then with my mom. Now, after posting I feel a tad bit more calm.

I don't know how this will end up but all I can do is take it day by day, raise my kids and stick to my boundries.

Thanks so much, it helps so much to be here with y'all.

Hugs
Teggie