Originally Posted by
best 
Two things from your post...
You sold your soul and you want to know where my strength comes from.
I have a problem.
I can't control the problem.
Help Me Lord.
and by His strength I get through anything and everything.
As for the selling of your soul... Jesus will buy it back for you if you ask of Him.
So the answer to both is the same... Look up and ask God.
and...:praying till the cows come home helps as well.
Best this brought tears to my eyes!
Barb's post was on the money too!
Queen there is
nothing wrong with you by any means! It takes time my friend....time...
When I first started walking my journey I was not allowing my HP to guide me at all! I had that "I can do this by myself no one can help me codie attitude" today I let him take care of the things I cannot control-it has made life easier.
We do make our own choices what we think is best for us at that time (*clap* Barb) however it is when we get to the point where we have had enough of making the same choices and nothing is working that we will decide other choices which are or will be right for us. As we recover we become more aware of these choices!
It took me a looooooooooooooong time to start making wiser choices-I was numb and did not want to be alone. Today I rather be alone and happy than be with someone and feel numb and alone! (Cliche I know) "Progress not perfection"
My HP,Al-Anon, SR, counseling and ME being aware of what I want and where I want to go has been a great source of strength. I know that I do not want to waste anymore of my precious time on chaos and drama-and being aware of this today is HUGE!
Sometimes I sit and relax alone....in a quiet place-my car, my back yard, even the bathroom! :rof and I breathe....I know when something is wrong I still have that need to fix it however today if it is going to waste my time and still nothing changes I have to let go-
It takes time queen-please do not beat yourself up! I drove pass my XABF the other night he was out front of a resturant with his son-I cried at first because I miss the fun we had and then I realized I do not miss the chaos!
One baby step at a time!
