There is nothing wrong with you. You have made choices on your path that were right for you at the time. Perhaps now you are ready for different choices. Isn't that the way life is? Things change, perceptions change, needs change. And we adapt and change ourselves as thing unfold.
I found the strength to leave my AH through thoughtful prayer and rational "talks" with myself. I have been ruthlessly honest with myself about what I have done, why I did what I did, and some of the whys of my choices. I reaquired my inner peace and strength.
Over time I came to the conclusion that the marriage was already dead and I was not willing to throw away any more time or energy on that dead relationship or in trying to change a man who cannot admit to his alcoholism.
Since I left, I came to accept that any financial difficulties that come out of that marriage are a price I may pay for having made a poor choice and accept it as just the way it may end up. Our house may sell before foreclosure but more likely I'll end up losing any money I had in it and end up with a major blot on my credit record. Such is life. I will recover from the financial hit.
I think a great deal of my strength comes from seeing the progress I have made. I started feeling the peace almost immediately after leaving. That helped immensely.