helpmeout

i probably should have posted in the whiners thread. i went through alot of stress and began using percoset vicodin and xanax. the holidays are awfully hard for me. i managed to stay clean for a while off the xanax. but once thanksgiving came around i went all out. i kinda felt like i was medicating myself so it was normal. i found out stopping was very hard. i would try and do a day here and there to prove i could (which is pathetic in itself) but always caved 12 hours into it. so here i am. the stress is still there and now compounded by friends and family that know i'm a drug addict. thats really hard to say myself. i guess i can't make excuses and i am kind of just rambling at this point.
here I am day 3 and this is probably the worst one yet. the spasms in my back are better but i woke up and to myself what's the point? (then was jabbed with a quick back pain and said oh wait thats the point or is it? a painkiller would be great. I guess Tylenol will suffice. about three days ago i found this forum thankfully and now here i am. you would think i would post on my first day but 3 is harder. so heres the story i didn't really want to tell (to anyone) alot of people are still in the dark. i also look at friends with I guess worse problems then me and ask why do i even bother. i got a bachelor party to go to. i know if i do my friends just want strippers and coke so i may as well stay home.
i just wanted to say while i was getting high i would probably laugh at someone that said i've been clean for 14 days or so. now i truly respect it. thanks for having me.