I am still having the "talk" with him every day about the alcohol. He still thinks that I made him quit and that he drinks because I dont keep a very good house. Blah blah quack quack quack. I can tell you that one thing that I have learned here and hear it often repeated is the whole control thing. I can't make him do anything, he makes his own choices. I remind myself of this every time we discuss it. AH has been "sober" for probably 2 weeks now since he found out I want a divorce. Again he thinks I made him quit and again I remind him that he makes choices for himself just as I make choices for myself.
My main focus right now is being my own independant person. For years I have made decisions based on what he would want me to do instead of what I wanted to do. Well no more. I informed him that nobody will be making decisions for me now except me. It will also be because its what I want or need not because someone else does. I will also be the one making the decisions for my children until I am certain that he is capable of doing so sober and with out the intent of using them as pawns. Just keep repeating to yourself what it is you want and need. The more you say it the more you start living it. Its not easy but it is possible.