A powerful post crispy, I admire your honesty. There were so many experiences I could relate to. Congratulations on your 79 days, that in itself is an accomplishment to be proud of.
Life for me somewhere around 79 days felt miserable. Most days I'd come home from work (amazing that I was able to work at all) and lie in bed. On the nights I had custody of my children I'd make them something to eat in the microwave and plop them in front of the TV, and I'd just lay motionless in bed. My diet consisted of Pop-Tarts for breakfast, cookies and chips for lunch, and a microwave meal for dinner. I ballooned up 30lbs and three years later I'm still working on trying to lose that weight. Life was just going through the motions, I didn't care about living and I gave a lot of thought to dying.
The only positive thing I did for my sobriety was to try to make it to an AA meeting every day. I didn't want to work the Steps, didn't want to sit in group discussions, and didn't feel like being social. I just wanted to be left alone in my misery. But one thing I do remember from those meetings is that I could see just a shred of hope, and I wanted that more than anything, so I kept going back no matter how I felt.
After 5 months of no action in AA I was like a recovery zombie, I felt complete lifeless and I started planning "the easy way out", even spent a weekend in a mental hospital searching for the easier softer way. But before I took that route I gave it one more chance, I started talking to people in the program, I got a sponsor, and I made a commitment to start on the Steps. No surprise that life started to get better, MUCH better, and it didn't happen slowly, my experience was that it came on like a freight train. And while life continues to "happen" and there will always be setbacks, life in recovery is incredibly rich and rewarding.
I firmly believe that when I work on my recovery, work with other alcoholics and addicts, and spend some time doing service work, I'll be rewarded tenfold and loneliness will vanish. Not only do I believe it, but I've experienced it.
As Anna suggested, please talk to your doctor about depression and medications if you haven't already. They were a lifesaver for me.