lastcall,
You may want to do some more reading and thinking about what you want for yourself, and what you want for your kids.
One book that has helped many of us here is "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. It helps put things in a different light, not of right or wrong, but of healthy and not healthy.
I'm glad you are seeing the problem with "staying together for the kids' sake". So many people stay in conflict-ridden, divisive, deeply unhappy marriages like yours, somehow convincing themselves that it's okay to ingrain these values into their children, somehow that it's good for them to grow up thinking that love, trust, cooperation, and serenity shouldn't be part of marriage. I was one of those kids. It took me decades to un-learn what my parents had taught me about relationships.
Sailorjohn has a point: Work on YOU. Let your husband do whatever he's going to do, but focus on what you want, what are your dreams, what kind of life do you want to have for yourself? Only when you do that inner work can you even think about mapping a path to get there.
Good luck
GL