Hi there
Hey. I'm new to the forum and new to sobriety. I always wanted to quit, because the hangovers hurt so bad, but I couldn't come to terms with the fact that I had a problem till I met my new boyfriend who made me see the potential I was losing by smoking pot and drinking constantly. A lot of the people i've been hanging out with do massive amounts of drugs (coke, ecstacy, acid), and they don't view pot as a drug, but I feel like it's holding me back. I was a heavy drinker too, which gave me tons of internal digestive problems, caused me to make stupid decisions, and wasted lots and lots of money. I've been sober 4 days now, after a earth shaking experience with my boyfriend. we were driving home from a concert, and i'd had a few beers and smoked some pot, and he told me that he hated when i smoked. a fight ensued, and i ended up becoming extremely emotional. then he said that he thought pot made me act stupid, even though i'm normally extremely intelligent, and when i tried to argue with him, i attempted to point out that it had been several days since i last smoked. unfortunately, at the time i was too messed up to remember how many days it had been since i last smoked. I couldn't even remember what day of the week it was, or how long i had been in colorado with him. I thought i got there on sunday, and it had been two days. truth was i got there on friday, and it had been 5. I made a complete fool out of myself, and it really stung. at that moment, i promised to never, ever smoke or drink again. We just got home from that vacation, and i'm finding it hard to not smoke. My dad was a heavy pot smoker and passed away from male breast cancer at 53 this past january, so it's something i've been around my whole life and used to view as normal. I didn't smoke in college and I got straight A's and was offered many fantastic jobs. since I started smoking, i've been lazy, losing jobs left and right, trying other drugs, and just generally getting into trouble. I'm ready to be done, but it's hard to change the habits.
I'm hoping to find a community here where I can be myself without using.
Thanks for listening!