HI! I tell ya I've been in your shoes. I sat down with my sponsor on a few different occasions to work through some of the defects by applying the opposite or spiritual qualities. I found that I had a fear of being assertive. I do not like the spotlight, nor do I feel like I deserve something better on any given day. I was reminded of how I am a leader in our local NA service structure and how I learned and work through the fear of being assertive. I was reminded about how being honest and truthful would never put me in a bad situation in recovery. So I was honest with my work and prayed for courage every morning until my meeting date. When I got in there I felt gods pressence, I was honest, I relied on spiritual principles and it felt like God took over me.