You have every right in the world to be pissed. However the rage can wear off, and although it can get you through some tough times (I find it a comfortable secondary emotion) the opposite of love isn't hate, it's apathy. So beware of that one... it's gotten me more than once.
I've been reading your posts. I've wanted to hear some good news and all I seem get is relapse...Good luck in your recovery. We're all in this together, right?