Honu,
Welcome to SR, I'm new here myself but it's a great place to be and has helped me lots!
It IS amazing how we justify and deny that we have a problem, but it's not our fault, it's bigger than us. The key is understanding and realizing it, because until then, I think it's hard for most to stay sober. I'm glad you want to get off the elevator that is going down, and hop on the one going up!
I can tell you, I never thought I needed to be on that elevator (or even in the building!), but I know where I'm going now, and I can tell you, it sure is wonderful! :ghug
Karen