I am so sorry to hear this is happening Shivaya.
I guess most people do not want to admit what they have done wrong - but in this case he needs to wake up. You are not going to Al-Anon meetings for a hobby, or a place to hang out with friends.
You are going there because you realise that there is work to be done to enable a secure loving family.
I think he should be doing most of the work, but that is just my opinion as a relative newbie.
Oh hang on - something caught my eye:
"He does not want to be told what to do or where to do it!"
this rings alarm bells to me.