Hi Zuzu,
I spent a couple of years trying to cut back and moderate my drinking. It didn't work. I wasted years trying to make it work. When I wasn't drinking, I was thinking about when I would, where, how much. If you're an alcoholic, cutting back is not an option. When you cross the invisible line, there is no going back.
There are lots of ways to find joy, other than wine-tasting. I have found so many things that bring joy to my life and I am so grateful to recovery for allowing that to happen.