No wisdom here, just wanted to send some words of understanding. I feel like you do except I am paralyzed by inaction. I'm the frozen tennis ball. Be proud of yourself for having the courage to do something. Be glad you are taking a step to take care of yourself and your kids. I'm not strong enough to walk away yet, but I'm thinking about it. You'll find your way and you will figure out what is right. Don't know if this will help you, but I've found lately that I can sometimes think most clearly when I lie down at night. I'll pray and then lie there for a while and think. My AH is still with me, but that quiet time has been a good point for me to reflect and evaluate what's going on with my life. I don't know my path yet, but I am getting a bit clearer. I think you are on the right track too. Hugs!
T