He is not a kid and do you really want to be in charge of 'all the candy' or allow him to make his own decisions and _then_ decide what your own actions will be after he makes his choice
I agree. Once I became the booze monitor, it allwoed me to blame myself for his drinking and he knew it..bc on cue, he would say something almost exactly like this.
Last night, he told me that he really appreciates my efforts to keep him from going out and drinking. He said he knows he gets angry at me, but in the end he doesn't know where he would be without me. He said right now he's trying to keep from drinking, and he's thinking of hobbies to keep him busy. He's still trying to find a psychiatrist to deal with his depression, but nobody will call him back
he hates that he doesn't have any access to our checking account, and that's he made to feel like a 5 year-old
I did this too and you know, I treated him like a 5 year old and it didnt help him act responsible, it gave him an excuse to be irresponsible.
Ill share something...once I realized we were both adults and I was not a mother to a young child and shouldnt be babysitting his drining, my money, his social activities, etc..I felt better.