You are in my prayers as well Rob. This part of our recovery is always the hardest, I am in your boat right now, but mine are the impending legal and relationship problems. I don't think we ever knowingly go out and hurt our loved ones like we do, it is the insanity of the addiction my friend. And it hurts like hell......a sane person would NOT have these things happen that we have and go back and pick up our drug of choice....