Hi Daisy,
Welcome to SR. I'm glad to meet you.
It's so frustrating. It's like dealing with a little kid who can't have all the candy he wants.
Asking me a question and getting angry at the reply is the kind of game that stops when I decide not to play along any longer.
He is not a kid and do you really want to be in charge of 'all the candy' or allow him to make his own decisions and _then_ decide what
your own actions will be after he makes his choice?
This phrase that I learned in Alanon has made a huge difference for me and how I relate to an alcoholic or addict.
The three C's of alcoholism:
I didn't Cause it.
I can't Cure it.
I can't Control it.