Kyle77

Hi everyone,

I haven't entered into any type prgram yet. I want too, but don't have any insurance now. Lost my job over someone finding something in company vehicle. No insurance now, dead broke. Need 700 bucks to get in this place and don't even have that much. When all of this happened I broke down while on something and told my mother. She immedialtely told my ex wife whom I have a daughter by. I have always been a really good dad when she is with me and I give her my full attention the whole weekend and do not use anything. I love her so so much and it's eating me alive the way I am. My ex is seeing someave been one else and I left some not so great messages on her voicemail when I dropped my daughter off with her. I followed her to her new bf's house and snapped....well sort of. I left 23 messages cursing and omg I don't know what I was thinking. Between telling my mother what I was doing and her having the messages my ex is now saying if I attempt to come pick up my daughter without first going to treatment that I will be arrested....she has saved the messages. She will take them to the police. They also know what I have been using and my mother who is RN that has been sober for alot of years is backing her.

I'm aware that I'm depressed and I feel that I'm spiraling further everyday. What I was using was the only thing that could make the pain stop. I miss ex wife and daughter every single day. It's hurts so much it's overwhelming. Things is, I know need help but don't know where to turn. She says I have to get treatment. How do I that? I went to a sliding scale thing and even been unemployed now it was still 700 up front. I don't have it or know anyone on this earth that will give it to me for treatment. Am I just out of luck? Should I just go pick up my daughter and let them arrest me? I would never put my child in harm's way but they have taped os me sounding like a maniac. Can anyone help me here with any advice? I'm so friggin lost.